Do you feel like you are part of the herd and can’t be yourself? Chances are you are stuck, and don’t know who you truly are or what you want. It doesn’t have to be this way. You can break free and be yourself. It takes time, energy, willingness and investment in yourself.
We all carry with us limiting beliefs and labels, which we learn and take on throughout life. Often, we don’t even realize that they are not true, or are not serving us in our present life. They can lead to us feeling stuck in being a certain way, which doesn’t ‘fit’ with our true identity. This can present itself in internal disharmony, which can impact our health, relationships, careers and overall sense of wellbeing.
One example I can share is ‘being English’. Relocating to the US was somewhat of a culture shock. More than I was expecting. Stereotypically, the English are known for their reservedness. This can appear as aloof or distant to some. This really isn’t true, we just tend to be naturally more reserved. Starting my coach training, I realized that I had adopted this label and was living according to its rules, governed by a stereotype and belief that that is how we are and how we always shall be. Whilst I prefer to be in the wings and not center stage, I have had to shift my perspective of who I am and how I am in this world. I have made new friends and colleagues as a result of breaking away from the limiting belief of ‘I’m too English for this country’. I celebrate my Englishness, whilst not limiting myself to having to be so reserved.
Limiting beliefs can apply to any part of ourselves, such as over identifying with a label or diagnosis, to the point we identify that as the only part of us present in this world. We are all more than a label. Shifting our perspectives, and welcoming in new ways of being can be tough, challenging and freeing. We can uncover the best version of ourselves.
You may be going through a bereavement, separation, your children have grown up and moved on, you have a change in your health, you hate your job but don’t know what you want. All these scenarios, and more, can lead you to question who you are. Do you want to continue being the person you were or currently are, or do you want a new chapter in your life? How can it be different or better than before? Adapting to changing circumstances is part of life. Mindset is the key.
To break free of long-held beliefs or labels can be scary, as they are what we have identified with for years. It all starts with a first step of acknowledging that there can be more. You can be more. Finding the right support and help is crucial. Some people may need therapeutic work to navigate a way through past experiences and challenges. Others may benefit from life coaching, where a coach can walk the journey with you, by supporting and challenging and empowering you to embrace your future, authentic self. Choosing the right coach is important, and it requires working with someone you ‘fit’ with and trust. The hard work comes from you. The end result can be life changing.
Laura Haywood is an authentic life coach working in the Triangle area in North Carolina, supporting clients on their journey to personal growth and understanding, to thrive and not just survive.